Pitterpat
by CaesarCaesar
Summary: Dramione. Draco joins the trio on their hunt for horcruxes and Hermione struggles with herself. Sexual content. M for safety.


**I wrote this ages ago after I got a little plot bunny and I figured i'd throw it on here to see how people reacted. Its a really horrid subject but I wanted to write something a bit heart wrenching. Its not been beta'd or anything, I've barely even looked at it since I wrote it months and months away. But please feel free to be constructive.. I know Draco's a bit soft, but you'll forgive me.**

**The title is taken from a song of the same name that seemed to fit my plot well enough!**

**enjoy! :)**

Although he was now on their side, Hermione and Draco did not speak a great deal. She found his presence tolerable, but it took time to heal the hurt of six years worth of bullying. However, she believed he'd truly changed his allegiances. After all, he had made an unbreakable vow to help them stop Voldemort – if he betrayed them; he would die and take their secrets to the grave.

The nights started getting longer; their watches more intense. They knew they were being followed – hunted like prey, in the dark forests they favoured to conceal them. Draco would often sacrifice sleep for the three of them. He was attempting to prove what they already knew; he had changed. He was still a sarcastic twat and they still disliked him, but his priorities had shifted and he wanted nothing to do with Voldemort. The Order was apparently taking care of Narcissa. She couldn't go back to her own home since he left – Voldemort had taken over the manor and the death eaters camped there now.

One night, her inability to sleep drove her frustratedly outside the tent. To where Draco sat next to a small fire, keeping himself warm. He sensed her straight away, but did not utter a word until she sat next to him - warming herself by the flames licking at the dried wood in front of her.

"Can't sleep, Granger?"

She shook her head. "You should let one of us take over. You need sleep as well, Malfoy. "

He'd looked at her then; as though looking straight through her and into her mind. It had unsettled her and she'd avoided his gaze. She noticed a book resting near Draco. "What are you reading?" She asked. He told her the title – he could no longer recall which book it had been, when he tried to remember.

They discussed books for a few hours. Hermione growing drowsy; her words becoming less eloquent and her yawns more frequent. He had told her to sleep and Hermione had been stubborn and insisted she would last the night; insisting it was only fair that she share the night watch with him. She had fallen asleep within minutes, eventually he pulled her body towards him and let her head fall onto his shoulder.

After that, the nights seemed easier. The four of them worked out a routine, so that there was always someone watching but that they all got sleep. They worked it out that Draco would do a few hours, then Hermione would take over. The next night, Ron and Harry would do the same.

Hermione never stuck to it, regardless of how unsubtly Draco hinted she should go back inside and sleep. Hermione would insist she couldn't, declaring that her body knew she'd be getting up to take over the watch. Draco would shrug and they would discuss another book. She wondered where he was getting all these books from. When she asked him that, he simply smirked.

He hadn't called her a mudblood since the day he tracked them down. They had been impressed he'd managed to track them down at all. Of all people they had expected to discover them – Draco Malfoy was not one.

It was shortly after Bill and Fleur's wedding. They had been camping in Grimmauld Place, deciding what to do next when Dobby appeared in the kitchen, alongside Kreacher. The two house elves had informed the Trio that Draco Malfoy had called them, and begged them to pass on a message.

They said that Draco Malfoy knew what they were doing. He'd overheard a heated argument between his mother and his aunt – who had their suspicions about exactly what Voldemort was doing to keep himself alive.

Draco Malfoy had a request and he wanted to meet with them. The debate over whether or not to meet Malfoy had gone on well into the early hours of the morning. Eventually, Harry overruled both Hermione's and Ron's arguments. The meeting took place three days later, with both Dobby and Kreacher in attendance. Their presence necessary in the event that Draco had tricked them and a swift exit was needed.

It was not a trick. He never returned to the manor.

Whenever Hermione's shift came, Draco would never wake her. He would allow her to sleep on, waking her just before dawn. He would shake her awake just before Ron and Harry emerged. He believed that despite the fact they were only friends, it would not do to have Harry and Ron assume there was something going on.

None of them were quite sure at what point they became friends with Malfoy. It seemed to come from nowhere. The civil, polite tones they had been using changed to banter. He would cook, and knew to give Ron slightly more than Harry or Hermione. He knew that Hermione was not overly keen on omelettes, though she valiantly tolerated them when they had few supplies.

The months continued and the trio soon grew to acknowledge there were now four. This gave them comfort during the discussions over where to go next. Draco was acknowledging that, quite unbelievably, these people might actually have accepted him, and although they rolled their eyes if he sulked, or moaned – they seemed to like him. They liked his input in conversations. Hermione, especially, would often ask his opinion on matters that normally they would not have.

Ron had taken a little longer. Even after Hermione and Harry accepted Draco and started becoming friends, Ron argued and baited Draco, who retaliated as expected. Slowly, though, they realised they had much in common. Their chess matches were now something that Harry and Hermione both dreaded and loved.

"Why do you let me do this every other night, Malfoy?" She whispered the question, he could feel her breathe through his shirt. He started a little, he had thought she was asleep.

"Because you're tired."

"So are you."

"You're a girl. Its good manners."

"I'm a muggle born girl."

"Regardless."

"Really? After an entire lifetime of that being an issue, it no longer matters?"

"What exactly, would you like me to say to that?"

"I'd like you to tell me the truth."

"The truth is that I don't know. I won't tell you I've changed, or that I no longer have any prejudice. Because I'd be lying to you; and insulting your intelligence. But do I agree with terminating all muggle born lives? No. Do I agree with Voldemorts hidden agenda? No."

Hermione had given no response, just rested her hand on top of his. He'd not moved it away like she expected he would, and so they stayed like that, with their hands touching and the fire warming them, all night.

She wasn't sure how the conversation came up. But for some reason they were no longer discussing books, but going through Draco Malfoy's sexual history. It was not a long list as she had believed; but it was significantly longer than her own. Hermione felt uncomfortable when the tables turned and she had to discuss her own. She'd gone quite red when she admitted she was a virgin. He'd smiled and told her it was nothing to be ashamed of.

She hadn't wanted to feel pleased by anything Malfoy ever had to say. Yet she was secretly happy at his approval.

"I don't want to die a virgin." Hermione confessed later that night, long after they had moved on from that topic, and after she'd curled up next to him, her head on his shoulder and his arm around her for support. This position was too intimate – she knew that. And yet he had never objected, in a way, he seemed to embrace it and she was happy to have something comfortable to rest on; and he didn't smell quite as bad as the other two. Though these months with no showers hadn't been kind to any of them.

He fidgeted when she said this. She lifted her head and looked at him, he moved his arm only slightly. His mouth twitched and he found himself at a loss for words. It'd been the first time she had seen him speechless.

"Hermione..." he whispered her name, and it had been the first time he hadn't called her 'Granger'. She would conclude that this was why she kissed him. Just, out of shock. He didn't respond immediately. When he did, she opened her mouth and he began to explore her body with his hands. She cast 'muffliato' so they wouldn't wake Ron and Harry.

Her clumsy fingers unbuttoned his shirt. His experienced ones slid under her jeans and somehow removed them before she even had his shirt off.

He gently encouraged her to lay on the ground, on top of his cloak. She felt only a little self conscious, exposed in front of him. He was the first man to see her naked like this; her skin flushed and her chest rising and falling rapidly. He kissed all over her body. She gasped when his warm mouth began moving downwards.

He spent a while down there, before moving his body back up and removing his trousers. He had hovered above her, supporting himself with his strong arms, his legs in between hers; spread open to allow him there. She never understood the term 'spreading your legs' as clearly as she did now. "Are you sure?" He'd whispered, she'd nodded, wrapping an arm around his neck. He used his hand first, fingers inserting themselves in and making her lift her hips. Then he entered her; slowly, trying not to hurt her.

It hurt, but only a little. The wetness down there helped. She had no idea what to do, so she allowed her body to take over – and him to take control.

The movements become faster, then he slowed down. He kissed her lips, marked her neck and nipped at delicate parts of her skin that revealed themselves as sensitive. She moaned and used his hair as something to grip when her muscles spasmed and clenched down tightly. He gasped when her walls tightened. He bit down on her breast a little to stop himself from crying out. Draco spilled inside of her moments after her own release. They stayed like that, him on top of her, her arms clutching him close, for a while.

The weeks passed, the winter months upon them faster than they had anticipated. Christmas passed without cause for celebration. The constant apparition and hunting for food became tiring for Hermione. The boys seemed to handle it fine, but she found herself constantly tired. Constantly hungry. The ice became a problem, covering the country and becoming a very real danger to them.

The days carried on. The four of them became restless. Frustration was high and hunger became something of a familiar feeling for them.

It was the middle of January when Hermione became curious about herself. Her body was changing and she knew something was wrong. It had been months since her and Draco had their night together. She'd not experienced a period in that time. Hermione reasonably put it down to stress, but now she knew that she'd been stupid.

A muggle supermarket was near by, so before the boys woke up from their slumber, she apparated from the woods they were sleeping in and quickly rushed into the shop. It was far too early for there to be many people there, so she watched every face that she passed, to ensure she recognised no one and to gauge their reactions – praying they would not recognise her. She went straight to the isle she knew she had to visit, picking the cheapest box and then moved quickly onto the tinned food isle. She figured that if she had risked a trip to the shop anyway, she may as well make it worth everyone's while. She chose several cans of baked beans, some tinned spaghetti and some tinned hot dogs. She used the muggle money she kept in her purse, shoving the items in a plastic bag before leaving the super market and apparating back to the tents. The boys were just starting to emerge. Draco noticed the plastic bag as he started to pack up their things, ready for their next move. He didn't say much, just enquired as to if she had disguised herself. She lied and nodded. The truth was, she hadn't even been thinking about a disguise. She refused to show any of them what was in the bag. She did tell them that tonight they would be eating real food, though.

They did not have the luxury of a toilet. Although Hermione had mastered the art of hygiene charms, she hadn't quite managed to convince the boys to buy a port a-loo. Behind a Goose bury bush, Hermione crouched and carefully hovered over the tiny blue stick.

She wished she'd learnt the charm used by medi-witches to test for pregnancy. She sighed, finished the deed and pulled up her trousers. She cleansed her hands with a charm, whilst waiting for the test to change.

It took three minutes for the identical lines to appear. She felt tears well up in her eyes and nausea threaten to overwhelm her.

She was pregnant.

Ron and Draco were doing tonight's watches. Hermione lay awake, waiting for Ron's shift to be over. Once she heard the hushed voice of Draco saying goodnight to Ron, she counted to one thousand and then slipped out of bed. She was only wearing some leggings and a loose fitting t-shirt, but she barely felt the cold.

"Draco." She whispered, as she saw him sat by the fire he had made to warm himself. He smirked.

"How did I know you'd come out, again?" She liked when he joked – it had taken so long for them to become civil, and the idea that he was now comfortable enough with them to make a joke occasionally made her oddly happy.

She chuckled as she sat next to him. "I need to talk to you about something."

He looked worried for a second, before allowing his normal smirk settled back on his face. "Shoot."

Hermione had absolutely no idea how to tell Draco that he had fathered a child. She had no idea how to break this news. She had never had sex before, she had never been pregnant before. She hadn't cried in weeks and yet today she had cried an impossible amount. Tears resurfaced and Draco's smirk slid from his face, concern taking its place.

"Hermione..."

"I'm pregnant."

Draco's face would have made her laugh if the situation hadn't been completely horrible. His look of horror sliced through her almost as badly as the sight of the positive pregnancy test.

"What... I mean, what do you do? I mean... we. What do we do?"

Hermione shook her head. Unable to form words through the thick haze. Her face was covered in various bodily fluids. She wiped furiously at them with her bare hands. Draco moved, wrapping an arm around her. Hermione knew this was unlike him, but she relished in the feeling of being comforted.

She rested her head on his shoulder and sobbed. She could not believe they were being punished so harshly for one mistake they made, in a desperate attempt to escape their horrific reality.

"Its like there's a clock, constantly. I can always hear it in my head. Telling me my time is almost up. The time I have left to decide what to do. I'm so stupid. This was such a ridiculous, foolish mistake."

"Yes. It was a mistake. We were stupid. But we can't exactly take it back, can we?" Draco reasoned. Yet another night by the fire, yet another discussion about what to do – what action to take. Whether or not to tell Ron and Harry.

Hermione sighed. "You know how I told you that muggles have a method of... removing the baby?"

Draco nodded. Hermione's heart broke as she said the words she had wanted to put off as long as possible. "I think I'm going to go to a Doctor - under a false name. I'm going to have an abortion."

She felt as though she was in some sort of race. A race to make a decision, and then do something about it. She knew she was quite far into her pregnancy. It had been months before she'd even tested, and she could distinctly feel a bump when she felt her abdomen. There was no doubt in her that a baby was developing under her heart. She would pray, on occasion. She didn't really believe in a deity – but somehow she took comfort knowing that if she went through with her plan to remove the baby, that it could be safe somewhere else. A little angel with a life beyond the world that was currently wrecked by war, and torn apart by hatred and fear.

Days passed, decisions were made and eventually, the war was finished.

And amongst it all, her growing feelings and growing stomach; Draco Malfoy became the man his father never was.


End file.
